So offensive, I can't help but love it.



Found here: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=2204465246&ref=nf

I'll finish that other thing I said I'd write when I can, but here's some Sam and Dean in the meantime.

Title: Rain
Rating: R
Characters: Sam, Dean, John
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Length: 2744 words
Summary: Sam's leaving for Stanford, the night of the announcement and the morning after.

( kisses watermarked by booze and rain )

I don't even give a shit about the rest of it, I just miss being worth your fucking time.

During a game of epic spin the bottle, 6 has to make out with 10. What happens, and why does 14 get up from the game in the middle?
Uhura has to make out with Lucifer. Later, she thinks that's how she got pregnant, but it was actually just from being in the same room with him and because he was kinda bored. Simon gets up in the middle of the game because he spun the bottle and it pointed to River. And she was actually going to go through with it.

15 borrows 1's clothes. Why? How do they look? How does 1 react?
During a hunt, Bobby gets covered in slime from a swamp monster as the grenade John threw down its throat explodes. He is very disgruntled and must borrow John’s clothes because he no longer has any clean ones, although he does not look altogether different, as they have similar jeans and T-shirts and assorted layers of flannel. John doesn’t quite know what to make of Bobby without his hat and goes from being generally uncomfortable to extremely pissed when they are forced to stop in a hole-in-the-wall overnight before they make it to Pastor Jim’s to pick up the boys, reason being everyone is convinced that Bobby and John ~matching~ means they’re gay.

2 and 9 are now roommates. What is their favourite thing to do on a lazy night? What habits do they have that make the other crazy? Why does 13 keep popping in to sleep on their couch?
Malcolm and Castiel are roommates. Malcolm’s favourite thing to do on a lazy night is call Inara and get into a nice fight and then spend the rest of it grumbling in sexual frustration. Castiel prefers to stargaze and listen to the dreams of everyone in the neighbourhood, and then pop in on them and tell them in great and unnecessary specific detail why EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT AND IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Consequentially, he has to date given night terrors to eight different children. Malcolm does not generally have the capacity to annoy Castiel, who is used to dealing with the Winchesters, but Malcolm is frequently annoyed at how Castiel prefers teleportation to walking across the house and opening doors, his general lack of regard for personal space, and more or less acting like River in her less nonsensical moments. Spock frequently shows up to sleep on their couch because he believes the appropriate response to Jim’s hissy-fits is to give him some alone time for awhile.

16 and 12 wake up naked in bed together with no explanation as to how they got there and no memory of the previous night. Go.
Wash and Watson wake up naked in bed together. Watson is pretty sure Holmes has everything to do with this and goes forth to confront him, almost forgetting to dress on his way. He reassures Wash by citing the fact that neither of their hindparts feel like they fell down the stairs, but this does not work all too well. Wash is busy wibbling in a corner because HE DOES NOT LIKE MEN and because he’s pretty sure Zoe is going to kill him anyway. As it turns out, Holmes pranked them and Zoe did not find out, so Watson is free to lecture Holmes on the evils of being insufferable and Wash is free to sex his wife for several hours just to reassure himself of his straightness.

22 and 14 switch bodies. During this switch 22, in the body of 14, has sex with 5. Why? What drama ensues? What does 14, in the body of 22 do, to get revenge and/or return the favour?
Simon and the YED switch bodies, and the YED proceeds to have sex with Zoe, who has since found out about the aforementioned incident and thinks she needs to get revenge on Wash for cheating on her with a 19th century British doctor. Of course, everyone finds out, which causes mild amusement on the part of most and devastation on the part of Wash and Kaylee, who then go drinking together. They try to give each other comfort sex but can’t go through with it because . . . just because. Simon feels incredibly unclean and tries to get revenge by screwing both Lilith and John Winchester, but that backfires, because the YED CAN SO FAP TO THAT. Incidentally, so can Lilith. Most involved decide to forget the matter, with the exception of John Winchester, who is (even further) scarred for life. He drinks enough booze to tranquilise a horse in the hopes that it will blot out his memory. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work so well.

1. If 12 and 21 were on a date, where would 12 take 31 out to eat and how far would they get? Are they marriage material?
If Watson and Bones went on a date, Watson would probably invite Bones to tea. They would then proceed to Watson's area of practice, where Bones would cream his pants at all the old medical stuff because OMG YOU STILL USE THAT IT'S BEEN ILLEGAL FOR CENTURIES CAN I HAVE SOME THIS IS ALL SO COOL. To return the favour, Bones would take Watson to his infirmary aboard the Enterprise, where Watson would remain, perplexed, for several hours, until he began to fully comprehend everything and jizz so hard he'd pass out. And that, essentially, is how far they'd get. They are not marriage material only because Kirk needs his doctor, and Bones is a doctor, damn it, and because Holmes would never allow it. Seriously, as far as he's concerned, Watson is his husband, and if some other fancy doctor took him away in a spaceship, his emo would blot out the sun, and he can't solve mysteries in the shade. It just wouldn't work.

2. 24, 23, and 21 are living together. Who's always late for rent, who cooks, and who does laundry? Do the neighbors hate them? And who's the one who's probably going to be kicked out?
Sulu, Kaylee, and Bones are stranded on some moon somewhere out in the boonies and consequently have to get an apartment. Bones does laundry because the multitude of dust makes him germ-phobic and Kaylee cooks because she doesn't trust anyone who's been eating military food for the last three or so years. Sulu is usually late for rent because he can't hold a job, because Damn it, Bones, he's a pilot, not a dishwasher. The neighbours hate Sulu because he strips to the waist and practices fencing, very loudly, on weekend mornings when they are still hungover, and he is, consequently, the one who is most likely to get kicked out.

4. OH SHIT ALIENS HAVE LANDED IN 5'S BACKYARD WHAT DO THEY DOOOO...?
Aliens have landed in Zoe's backyard. She will kindly but sternly tell them to leave her property and get that firey piece of metal they landed in off her damn lawn. And boot them in the ass if they fail to comply.

5. 13 and 2 are engaged to be married, but wait! 7 DOTH PROTEST. Why do they protest and does the marriage go on?
Malcolm and Spock are engaged to be married. Oh dear God.
Malcolm: NO NOT THIS AGAIN I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS YOU BETTER NOT BE AFTER MY SHIP, ELF-EARS.
Spock: *raises eyebrow*
Zoe, Wash, Kaylee, Simon, River, Jayne, Shepherd, Inara: *sporfle*
Malcolm: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Jayne: Don't kiss 'im on the mouth.
Malcolm: OUT THE AIRLOCK WITH YOU
Jayne: *runs away lolzing*
Malcolm: *gives chase* I'LL KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH
(A general sense of wait, what?)
Spock: This ship is most . . . inefficient.
Kaylee: Serenity ain't junk! *smack upside the head*
Spock: *raises eyebrow* I was not referring to your means of transportation.
Kaylee: Huh?
Zoe: Never mind, hon.
Inara: *thinks she is no longer the only one playing for both teams* I'll be in my bunk!
Shepherd: Well, this is special.
Malcolm: (from some other part of Serenity) STFUUUUUUUUUUU OLD MAN I DON'T GO THAT WAY
Jayne: NO NOT THERE
Kaylee: 0_o
Shepherd: I think I need my Bible. *leaves*
Wash: So. With everyone turning gay, I think I need some assurance of how very, very not-gay I am. *8D at Zoe*
Zoe: I have a headache. *goes up stairs*
Wash: *runs after her* Curse your sudden and inevitable betrayal!
Kaylee: Um. I can show you a room. If you want. Mr. Alien Sir. We got lots of empty.
Spock: Yes, that would be the most logical outcome of any that have transpired today.
Kaylee: . . . Um. 'K *goes up stairs*
Spock: *follows*
Simon: You orchestrated this whole thing, didn't you?
River: 8D
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Later, a dinner table. River is mildly smug in such a way that only Simon notices. Simon, in turn, is mildly horrified in such a way that only River notices. Kaylee is a bit put out that Spock ain't being too friendly, but this is a consequence of her being sorely unaware of the Vulcan conception of proper manners, although she would not be reassured to learn that Spock is, in fact, trying to decide by what miracle this ship stays together. Malcolm is fuming, and Jayne is itchy from having a bucket of paint dumped down his pants (the source of the NO NOT THERE heard earlier). Inara and Shepherd are most unaffected.
Kirk: *materialises on top of the fucking table halfway through the meal*
Spock: Hello, Jim.
Everyone else, except River: asfavawronva;ighapeoighrapeoihvvfgv QUA?
River: *pokes around in Kirk's head a bit* Ooooh. Shiny.
Kirk: *dislodges his foot from what passes for either stew or gravy and pulls out his communicator* Scotty.
Scotty: Aye, Captain. Have you found Mr. Spock?
Kirk: Yes, Scotty. And I've also found my foot in someone's dinner. Please watch what you're doing next time. Kirk out.
Jayne: *a very delayed reaction* Huh?
Kirk: *points at Spock* You . . . are not getting married.
Spock: Would you like to come down off the table, Captain?
Kirk: No! I would like you to come back on board my ship and not get married!
Spock: Jim, methinks you doth protest too much.
Kirk: YOU ARE NOT--
Spock: Yes, Jim. I know. I believe there has been a misunderstanding. Shall we?
Kirk: Yes. In a minute. *turns to Malcolm* Why are you engaged to him?
Malcolm: I don't know!
Kirk: Well, how did it happen!?
Malcolm: I'm telling you, kid, I don't know. But if you want him, you're welcome to him.
Kirk: *fumes momentarily* Fine.
Malcolm: Fine.
Kirk: Fine! *hoists Spock onto the table and narrowly avoids about three more plates* Scotty, beam us up.
They disappear.
Shepherd: Well. That was special.
Simon: You're the devil.
River: ^_^ Let's get married~!
Simon: *chokes on whatever he's drinking*
Jayne: Huh?

6. 11, 22, and 24 are currently being held hostage in a grocery store with a shapeshifter. How do they get out, if they do?
Sam, Watson, and Sulu are being held hostage in a grocery store with a shapeshifter. Sam will find some silver-plated letter openers in the manager’s office, because, you know, those things are fucking everywhere, and Watson will use some technique Holmes discovered by accident to fuse several of them to the end of a very random metal cane that was lying around. They will then deliver it to Sulu who will run at the shapeshifter screaming, ONE DAY, WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU, causing it to gape at him senselessly. Whereupon he will stab it in the chest. And they will escape through the sewers because Watson would rather not tangle with SWAT teams, if he can possibly avoid it.

Ok, so I have characters from Supernatural, Star Trek (either OS or new movie, same people), the new Sherlock Holmes movie, and Firefly, numbered 1-24.

Ex: If 8 and 21 woke up on top of a Mayan pyramid, why would 3 want to sacrifice them, and what does 15 have to do with getting them stuck in this mess in the first place?

Free-for-all. Keep me occupied in class and when I should be doing homework.

I will edit if I add new characters to this mess.

Prop 8 was awhile ago, but someone just linked me to this.

This is Helen's late Christmas present, and I may have forced myself into writing like I used to again.

Title: Life in the Real World
Rating: R
Length: 5831 words
Characters: Sam, Dean, John, Mary, Bobby, Castiel
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Summary: The boys wake up a week after the fire kills Jess, in a world plus John and Mary and minus anything supernatural
( fall from grace )

Has anyone signed up for LJ Messenger? I did, and no one on my friends list seems to be on. Let me know if anyone has this and if I'm doing it wrong or something.

So this is what you've been doing with yourself . . .

Title: Godless Absolution
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13 (Wow, when did I get that boring?)
Length: 3000 some words (Just a baby.)
Characters: Castiel, Ana, Lucifer, Sam, Dean
Pairings: minor Castiel/Ana (mostly one-sided), Castiel/Lucifer, Sam/Dean
Summary: Castiel's experience of the end of the world, possibly also how he gets laid without knowing he wants to.
Notes: This puked out of me in the amorphous blob you see it in now. Blame Milton for whatever isn't strictly Kripke's fault.

( The Void )

So, digitalanathema says she hates my layout because it makes her eyeballs cross.

To the rest of you, do me a favour, take a look, and vote accordingly:

Poll #1436864
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 6

Call me lightning?

HEY. I NEED HELP FROM THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED.

Remember Meg from S1 and S2 of Supernatural? I want to get my hair cut again because it's starting to do that ridiculous 70s flippy thing, and I want to get it short like hers, because it's been that length before and it looks decent on me.

So, if anyone has/can make screencaps of Meg with short hair, I would appreciate it. I'm especially looking for shotsof the side and the back of her head.

Title: The World, According To Sam

Fandom: Supernatural

Rating: R

Characters: Sam and Dean, mention of Ruby, very brief mention of Lilith, Castiel, John, and Jess

Pairing: Sam/Dean

Word count: 2147

Warnings: Spoilers up through the end of season four

 

( Screaming shards of bloodied glass )

THANK YOU MR. GOD KRIPKE.

THE PLOT. IT IS VISIBLE.

HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH.

This is completely incoherent and contains no spoilers, and you will understand it only if you have 1) watched the ep and 2) share my sentiments on where S4 started going when it came back from Christmas break.

And Kim Manners. D= Big fat sad.

Post a character that I RP/write and I'll answer the following questions for you.

01. Full name:
02. Best friend:
03. Sexuality:
04. Favorite color:
05. Relationship status:
06. Ideal mate:
07. Turn-ons:
08. Last sexual experience:
09. Favorite food:
10. Crushes:
11. Favorite music:
12. Biggest fear:
13. Biggest fantasy:
14. Quirks in bed:
15. Bad habits:
16. Biggest regret:
17. Best kept secrets:
18. Last thought:
19. Worst sexual/romantic experience:
20. Biggest insecurity:

Cut for spoilers, rant on Supernatural 4.11

( Poorly executed, anyone? )